Monday, October 09, 2006

Countdown to American Title!

Voting for the American Title contest begins one week from today!! I've got lots to do between now and then, so naturally I woke up this morning with a nasty head cold. Sore throat, stuffy sinuses. Lovely. I had to call in sick at the day job, which I absolutely hate to do. So in honor of the truly delightful people I get to work with every day, I'm posting some of my favorite lawyer jokes!
But first a disclaimer. Some of my best friends and family members are lawyers! And they're the ones who tell the best jokes. Like these...

Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer? Take your foot off his head.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a slimy, bottom-feeding scumsucker and the other is a fish.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a pitbull? Jewelry.

What do you call 5,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. The lawyer holds the bulb while the rest of the world revolves around him.

How do you get a lawyer out a tree? Cut the rope.

What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? Not enough sand.

What do lawyers use for birth control? Their personalities.

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.

Okay, that's enough!! Or is it? Feel free to add your own!



Blogger Maureen Child said...

OHMIGOD! Laughing my ass off...and as everyone knows, that's a LOT of laughing!!

10:40 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Me too! What Maureen said, except I don't think she has a lot of ass. Sass maybe, but not ass!

6:41 PM  
Blogger Kate Carlisle said...

Don't be talking about LOTSA ass, okay?? I'll get a complex! LOL

Glad my love of lawyers could bring a smile to your day. *g*

7:30 PM  
Blogger Dr. Z said...

Love the jokes! I can't believe you didn't send me your blog...had to find you on my own. BTW, love the photo. You know I'm your biggest fan! THE DOC.

1:54 PM  
Blogger Kate Carlisle said...

Hey Doc, you know I'm your biggest fan, too! ;-)

1:22 PM  
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4:22 PM  

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